hotel room ftw
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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