Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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