She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
