so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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