I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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