I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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