Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she smelled like a LAN party
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
