wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
