You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everclear isn't food dammit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
