If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
