kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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