Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
