I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
