is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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