I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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