you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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