I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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