It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
