Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
North Korea, Best Korea!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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