so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
