Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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