Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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