I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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