I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
