Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
