and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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