Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
