five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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