my phone needs a breathalizer
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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