Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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