dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize