I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
