i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
