OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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