I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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