I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
