yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize