i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
