dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
