I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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