That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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