Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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