Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
