I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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