Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
