Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
