If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
