Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize