Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize