I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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