That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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