He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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