Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
