We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
