I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
