I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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