Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
