awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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