Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
being pregnant is like rehab
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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