ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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