Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
